I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
