me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
my being single is dangerous.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
