i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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