I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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