So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
