nut hugger
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
