we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
