so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
