drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I believe in your delicious
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
