real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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