So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
