He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
thus making me awesome and them whores
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize