I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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