Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance