is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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