38 yer olds are good kisserssss
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
