I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
