I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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