Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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