im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
