Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
