stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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