I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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