FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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