people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Can I color on your dick again?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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