Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
