I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
