..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
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As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This is classic penis vs brain.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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