If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize