omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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