I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Please, let me fuck your mom
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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