So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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