Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
