I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I could have mohawked her pubes.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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