Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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