I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
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I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
they're like a gay fantastic four
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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