I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
