Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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