I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I could fuck to npr.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
