that's an acceptable place to lick
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
