Fuck appropriateness.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
