I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I am naked and annoyed.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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