And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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