Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
