I need to stop coming to work sober
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
