You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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