Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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