it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
50% drunk capacity currently
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
