You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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