everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just sucked dick on a ferry
jump out the window naked night went bad
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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