what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
