she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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