I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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