I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
