I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
