Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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