His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
