I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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