so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
