The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
