My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
