Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
