i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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