You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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