i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
