We won't sleep together?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
