Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
