i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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