Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
