Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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