he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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