yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
